No.67 doing this new routine it's like this
new dance for the family
you get home very first thing you do is
you take off all your scrubs and you
know you wash them you clean them
in the beginning she used to look at me
like why are you running away from me
and i kept thinking oh this poor kid

i think it is very easy sometimes for
people to lose sight of the 'A' that we
do have families that
we are still making sacrifices there was
a time period when all this began where
i think
my one comfort is i almost felt a little
bit invincible

has that changed now

yeah it's it's
changed now i kind of tell my husband i
said i guess we're just working until we
get sick

i think we're just on autopilot to be

I mean but that's exhausting

you start feeling like you have to make
preparations that you never really
thought about
before like are we okay financially what
happens if
you know one of us passes away what
happens if both of us passes away
who's going to watch after our child i
sometimes am afraid to
allow myself to get too 'B' about
it why
because i'm afraid that once that
it's going to be really hard to contain

what those 'A','B' would be
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